


The Baby Blues

by loveheartlover



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-31
Updated: 2014-07-31
Packaged: 2018-02-11 03:36:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2052114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveheartlover/pseuds/loveheartlover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt gets given a baby and calls his best friend Elliott for back up, but Elliott sends his roommate instead. Y’know, the roommate that Kurt has been crushing on for two years now…</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Baby Blues

It’s not possible to look attractive when covered in baby sick. Kurt knows this. But when he opens the loft door and is left face to face with Elliott’s gorgeous roommate, he can’t help but pray to whatever deity is crossing the sky at that moment that Blaine was thinking  _I have wasted the last two years of my life by not being in love with this stunning creature._ Any hope is, of course, shattered when Blaine winces and says, “You really don’t know anything about babies huh?” _  
_

"Sorry?"

Blaine takes the baby from Kurt, shaking his head. “You have to support her head, her neck isn’t strong enough to hold it up yet.”

"Oh." Kurt frowns. "Well, at least you can see why I called Elliott. Why isn’t he with you?"

"Can I come in?"

"Yes, of course, sorry," Kurt says, stepping back to let Blaine in before he closes the door behind him. 

"And to answer your question, Ell was on a date with Jamie when you called. He texted me for back up, since I actually have childcare experience and all. He’s about as clueless as you. Isn’t he darling?" Blaine coos, pressing a kiss to the baby’s forehead. "And I couldn't leave a poor little birdy like you in the grips of the clueless, could I? Now then, let’s get you two mopped up and maybe Kurt will explain exactly how he came to be in possession of such a precious girl?" 

"It’s a  _really_  long story."

Blaine looks up through his eyelashes, smiles the same smile that made Kurt walk into a door - _it was glass okay everyone's done it-_ the very first time they met. “I refuse to leave you alone with this cutie-pie. Believe me, we have time.”

So Kurt takes a shower while Blaine changes the baby and wipes her face and warms up a bottle, and then they settle down together on the couch, a Masterchef re-run playing in the background. "What's her name?"

"Hmm?"

Blaine laughs. "The baby, Kurt. What's her name? I can't keep calling her little bird."

Kurt runs a finger along the baby's cheek, listening to the soft cries she's beginning to make. "Oh, um. I'm not... I mean I think little bird is fine for her, she sounds like a pigeon when she's crying for food so-"

"Kurt? You do know her name right?" Blaine asks, worrying his lower lip between his teeth as he gives her the bottle, eyes wide.

"Her Mom was talking really fast! It began with an E? Or maybe a G?"

Blaie shakes his head. "There's definitely a story in there, that you still haven't told me, by the way."

"You're going to judge me," Kurt groans, burying his face in his hands. "Do I have to?"

"No I won't, and yes you do. Doesn't he sweetie?" The baby ignores Blaine's chatter, utterly fixated on getting a world record in guzzling milk. Blaine grins at Kurt expectantly. "Well?"

And really, there's no way Kurt can refuse Blaine anything when he's got those big eyes and pouting mouth aimed his way.

So he tells him everything.

Tells him about making friends with the sweet girls on the third floor when he wound up doing his laundry with them when he first moved in. About Paige having a baby and Kurt offering to help them out if they needed anything- and he'd meant if they wanted him to pick up their groceries or give them a recommendation for a babysitter, but he obviously wasn't specific enough because he'd been woken up at 6am by the girls banging on his front door. Paige's Mom had been taken to hospital and Paige and Liz wanted to go visit her, but they couldn't take a newborn so could Kurt watch her for the day and thank you so much they owed him big time and then they were gone. So Kurt had done what any responsible twenty-five year old, who knew nothing about babies, would do. He googled "idiot's guide to newborn care", and when that didn't come up with anything useful he had called Elliott. 

Which in hindsight was actually a really stupid thing to do because the last time Elliott had been given his niece to babysit he'd paid $200 for her to go to a top of the line daycare because he hadn't been able to handle the responsibility.

He'd only needed to watch her for two hours, and had cracked after eleven minutes.

Apparently Blaine hasn't heard this story before, because he laughs so hard at Kurt's impression of Elliott when he phoned the daycare that he dislodges the bottle from the baby's mouth and gets an actual bitch glare from a three week old. Kurt tuts. "Really Blaine, I thought you were good with babies! Everyone knows you don't take the milk away before the baby is ready, that's like, childcare 101 or something."

"Oh so that's how it is?" Blaine says, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah, that's how it is, Mr Childcare Expert."

"I never said that!"

"No, you just said you would never leave someone as  _clueless_ as me with a baby."

"Did I really?" Blaine asks, wrinkling his nose. "God I sound like a know-it-all. Ignore I said that. I just meant that I like babies, if I have the chance to spend time with one I'm not about to give it up. Besides, you really weren't doing a good job when I showed up."

"How could you possibly know that?"

"Kurt! You were covered in baby sick, the kid was covered in sick and pee and was crying her heart out, and you honestly looked like you were about to throw a tantrum or maybe jump out of a window."

"Off the roof, actually."

Blaine snorts, actually snorts, as he burps the baby, and Kurt wonders if it's possible to fall in love with someone despite already being head over heels for them. "Come on, she's done and still all sticky and I'm not really sure why."

Kurt blushes. "There might have been an incident."

"Oh God."

"It wasn't that bad! I just. I mean there was glue. And glitter. On the floor, from when I was working on something last night and I hadn't really cleaned up and then I got given the baby, so I put her on the floor to take her diaper bag and then I picked her up and-"

"I thought I was imagining things! So she really is all sparkly?"

"Mhmm."

"Right," Blaine says. He seems to be steeling himself, because a moment later he stands and shakes his head. "Right. Okay, up. Come on, you can't give the girls a sparkly baby. We'll have to bath her."

Kurt follows Blaine to the bathroom, fretting nervously at his heels. "Don't babies need a special bath? And a specific body wash thing?"

"We'll manage without, it's fine," Blaine promises. He hands Kurt the baby, much to Kurt's immediate horror, and begins fishing around in the cabinet for soap, fiddling with taps and finding a flannel. Kurt watches, his grip on the baby correct but wary- if she throws up on him again, he's calling Elliott back and getting the number for that daycare centre, rent money be damned- until something occurs to him.

"How do you know your way around my bathroom?"

Blaine blinks, and then a deep red blooms high on his cheeks. "Would you believe it was a lucky guess?"

Kurt doesn't say anything, doesn't need to. 

"You used to have a roommate."

"I used to have two roommates, but that's besides the point."

Well, no. I might have had a... thing. With Rachel."

"You're straight?" Kurt says, aghast. He's all for not stereotyping but he'd been  _so sure_ that Blaine was gay. He organised his bowties by color and occasion, Kurt had seen them. He went with Elliott to gay bars and told stories over brunch that had Kurt doubled over with laughter. He'd told Kurt about his crush on Sam! "Or bi? Are you bi?"  _Please be bi, please please please please-_

"I'm gay. Really, truly gay. It was just my freshman year and I wasn't really sure and then Rach was really really pushy so I thought I'd give it a shot so-"

Kurt's relief is written across his face, must be, but he doesn't care. "That's Rachel for you."

"Well that's how I know the layout of your bathroom, anyway. I mean not that we ever- it was just that she used to keep all of her stuff in here so I'd be sent back and forth fetching things."

The baby began to cry, annoyed that she was being ignored. "Don't start again!" Kurt begs, but Blaine takes her with a cheery grin, and strips her in ten seconds flat before dunking her into the water, using his hands to keep her at a 45 degree angle. The crying stops instantly as she processes this new development, eyes fixed on Blaine as she tries to decide if the strange bath tub is a good thing or not. Evidently something in Blaine's smile reassures her, because she stops squawking long enough for Blaine to give her a fast wash and then wrap her up in a towel.

"Nice and clean!" He clucks, patting her dry. "Come on then little bird, let's find you something cute to wear." Blaine takes her back to the main living space and begins digging through her diaper bag with the baby on his lap, before he sits back on his heels. "Hey Kurt? Her name, it's not Evangeline is it?"

"Yes!" Kurt realises, "that definitely sounds like what Paige was saying! How did you work it out?"

Blaine rolls his eyes. "She has a baby blanket with Evangeline embroidered on it. And a rattle that says Evie. And it says on the diaper bag, 'Property of Paige, Elizabeth, and Evangeline Matthews. If found please call the number below.'" 

"Okay," Kurt admits, "I should have noticed that."

By the time Evangeline is dressed and asleep in a makeshift nest/cot thing made up of couch cushions on the floor, Kurt's starving, and from the sound of Blaine's rumbling stomach, he is too. "I was meant to go grocery shopping today," Kurt says, digging through his cupboards. "So we have some very questionable leftovers and coleslaw, or I can call for pizza."

"Pizza. No question about it."

"Ah, but there is a question! What  _toppings_ do you want? Are we having a pizza each, or do you want to go half and half?"

"I'm really boring," Blaine confesses. "I just like a plain cheese pizza, no toppings, and then go crazy on the sides."

"Wait, seriously? So do I! The girls used to drive me insane, demanding I had toppings on my pizza. What's wrong with plain cheese?"

"Elliott does the exact same thing, says it's a waste to not have toppings," Blaine laughs. "Or I order salad if we eat out and he actually looks like he might cry to be seen with me. Shall we get a large cheese pizza and then just pig out with a load of sides? I could kill for some garlic bread right now."

"God, if marriage between humans and a food were legal that garlic bread would be up the aisle in minutes."

"Then you better be open to some kind of poly relationship, because you are not taking my garlic bread fix away from me."

Kurt smirks. "You can be the mistress on the side, I'll turn a blind eye."

"Oh how generous of you."

"I know, I know, I am just such a nice person. You're so lucky to have me around." 

Blaine bites his lip. "Yeah," he says softly, "I really am."

And Kurt finally realises that they aren't talking about Blaine's affair with Kurt's vampire-destroying husband any more.

 


End file.
